Celebrating 52 years of intellectual abstinence!

And still going unnoticeably strong

Founded in 1970, in response to Egyptian president Gamal Abdel-Nassar's death, months after the Beatles broke up, This Dog Stinks remains Freedom Bluff's only news source. As such, everyone who works here takes great pride in knowing that a period at the wrong time can really fuck up a sentence. And a dress.

Dramatic Sunset

Our future office

Our Story

Every story has one side. Unless you choose to print double-sided. Double-sided printing is wasteful. You use twice as much ink.

This Dog Stink's story is no different than any other story involving a man who grew up on a farm and called a pig his best friend. The man was definitely not the pig's best friend. That pig got it's neck cut and bleed out on a hay-covered floor. Then he got sold to a butcher and was dinner for approximately twenty-three people. That was a one-sided relationship.

The moral to this story, like all of our stories, is that there is no story. Only words. Words that give no meaning to the letters that make them up.

And that's what makes our story so uninteresting.

Our Team


Mark Joseph
Head zombie

A massive disappointment to family and friends, Mark is deaf in one ear and half blind in the other.

He is a vindictively-quiet man who hates most people and gets along with even fewer. His dream is to live on a beach in South America and be left the fuck alone.

Playful Woman

Sally Lipshank

A retired lot lizard, mother of ten, and grandmother of unknown, Sally is a founding member and president of the Maternal Order of White Chicks Like Black Dicks. She prefers to be called a whore rather than a slut.

Her husband has been in a coma since 1986, and she wants to keep it that way.

Yoga Instructor

Todd Beacon
Sub-par writer

An unlicensed, out of work masseur, Todd's grandmother calls him the loser of the family.

He almost graduated from Freedom Bluff Community College, but he was kicked out over a hazing incident. The criminal complaint was sealed by a judge. Rumor has it Todd was making fat members of his fraternity eat over 100 donuts a day for six weeks.

Sad Gaze

Carol Tannenbaum
Scary bitch

Carol will cut your eye out for sneezing in her direction.

She's a tomboy at heart and isn't afraid to beat people (men, women, children) up for no reason.

She enjoys clotheslining pay-by-the-minute scooter riders in downtown Austin and proudly boasts of never being caught.

Man shaving face

Sonny Soderberg

A 3rd grade teacher by day, male gigolo by night, and amateur writer on the weekend, Sonny loves to steal seashells from his neighbor's porch and return them the next day with pornographic images painted on the outside.

When he was ten, he was stung on the penis by over one hundred bees. He still has a lot of itchy scars.


Johnny Gas
Our Prophet

A fifteen-year-old sixth-grader and son of a parking lot preacher, Johnny is the light and inspiration for  everything we do.

When he isn't trying to avoid his father's pet copperhead snake, Johnny spends his days  sitting on local elementary school kids and farting on them.