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  • Todd Beacon

Ball Busters fan throws ball back. Ends up with contract.


Danny Sugar shows off his happy dance after finding out he won't have to pay full price for hot dogs and beer at the Vice
Danny Sugar shows off his happy dance after finding out he won't have to pay full price for hot dogs and beer at the Vice

The Freedom Bluff Ball Busters of the Southern United States Association of Former High School Baseball Players League signed a new player last night at Vice Stadium.


After Ball Buster right fielder Nolan Sandercoat caught the final out of the fifth inning, he tossed the baseball into the stands.


“The blue balls we play with are kind of unique. I just thought one of the fifty fans who came to the game might want it. The Vice seats at least three thousand people. The odds of it ending up in some fat guy’s beer have to be astronomical.”


The fat guy Sandercoat mentioned is Danny Sugar. He was sitting near the right field foul pole eating a hot dog when the blue ball landed in his beer.


“First of all, I thought I was coming to a tractor pull. I had my Saturday’s mixed up. I only stayed because I love the hot dogs at the Vice. What I can’t figure is why the hell the guy would think I want a blue ball. I’ve been married for ten years. My balls have been blue for the last five. I threw the ball back on account of beers here cost $12 and I had just gotten mine. I was aiming for his head. I didn’t mean to hit him in the ass.”


After getting hit, Sandercoat’s teammates ran onto the field to find out who threw the ball.


“That was a hell of a throw,” Ball Busters catcher Stan Grimy said. “I don’t care where he was aiming. His arm strength is better than anyone on this team.”


“We can use him,” third baseman Dylan Henderschott said. “With an arm like his, we might not get blown out every night.”


General manager Pete Calhoun was just as excited as the players. “With a guy named Sugar on this team, the promotional opportunities are endless. We can give away sugar-coated bobbleheads. We can have his picture imprinted on sugar cubes. My mind is spinning with ideas. We might actually get two hundred people to show up at one of these games.”


“I’m kind of excited,” Sugar said. “They’re only going to pay me twenty bucks a game, but they said I can get fifty percent off hot dogs and beer.”

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The Scamp vs. The Tramp #voteearlyvoteoften.jpg