Chelsea Handler admits to having sex with Lindsey Graham
New York, New York–In a dramatic, drunken twist, Chelsea Handler confessed to Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live last night that Senator Lindsey Graham is not only not gay, but that she slept with him on Halloween in 2006.
“I thought he was gay. He had all the mannerisms of a homosexual. He was smiling at everyone and complimenting their color schemes. He was drinking a peachy keen. He was even wearing a bunny outfit. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a straight man wearing a bunny outfit. But let me tell you something, that man, and when I say man, I mean big man, if you know what I mean. Anyway, that man is about as gay as I am funny. Not only that, he can do things with his tongue that I didn’t even know were possible. I’m not kidding. He even showed me places on my body that I didn’t even know existed.”
Cohen asked her why she’s spent so many years attacking him and accusing him of being gay.
“The son of a bitch never called me back! You don’t show a woman all of those amazing pony tricks and then brush her off. What kills me is that I don’t even think he scratched the surface. That man has talent. He sure as hell shouldn’t be wasting it on the Senate. He should be starring in movies that would make Mia Khalifa blush.”
After the show aired, Graham seemed to tweet his approval.
We are still waiting for a comment from the Easter Bunny on his opinion about bunny outfits signaling homosexual tendencies.