• Carol Tannenbaum

High school boys line up to donate sperm, get an unpleasant surprise


A school of sperm stuck on one of Alex Rodriguez's socks after J-Lo left him for a below average actor/upper eichelon douchebag
A microscopic look at a school of sperm stuck on one of Alex Rodriguez's socks after J-Lo left him for a below average actor/upper echelon douchebag

A group of morons/high school boys packed the lobby of the Freedom Bluff Sperm Donation Center and Baby Daddy Emporium yesterday expecting to be greeted with open hands. Instead, they were shown the door by three angry nurses.


Only one of the boys, Anderson Balmoral, was willing to go on record to explain the group's logic.


"My homie told me about this place. Then we got to thinking about how they collect the sperm. Another one of my homies said it's a medical office, so they must supervise the whole process. I mean nurses jab you with needles and take your blood pressure. We thought they would do it for us."


Nurse Gretchen Callahan was a bit more specific.


"Those idiots thought we would give them hand jobs. I mean, seriously, that's how stupid our youth is today. All ten of them came in and started looking around. When I asked what I could do for them, one of them asked if they get to pick out the nurse who would be in charge of them. The little fuckers. None of them even picked me. They all wanted Carly. She's not even a nurse. She's the office manager."


"The old lady looked pretty pissed off," Balmoral said. "I'm sorry we didn't pick her. She's good looking enough. I could see her starring in a GILF scene, but that other lady in the suit? Damn! She's on fire. She should not be near dry grass. That shit will go up in flames, yo."


Carly Seager, the office manager, didn't want to comment for this story. However, she was overheard telling her coworkers how much she missed high school.