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  • Todd Beacon

Hillsdale College creates aggressive spaces for Young Republicans


William “Whites Only” Sherman IX sends a colorful message to those who are a different color than him
William “Whites Only” Sherman IX sends a colorful message to those who are a different color than him

Hillsdale, Michigan–In a move meant solely to piss off Democrats, Hillsdale College has remodeled the top floor of Delp Hall and turned it into an aggressive space. The decision has the Hillsdale College Republicans feeling like every day is $1 pitcher day.


Robert “No welfare bitches on my watch” Lee VII found it hard to contain his excitement. “It’s fucking beautiful, bruh. We can say shit in there that we can’t say anywhere else. My boys come up with the best racist shit I’ve ever heard.”


According to George “Blood Bath” Pickett VIII, the aggressive space is used for more than just yelling racial epithets. “We tear shit up in there. We have a fight club on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I’ve never won. I always get my ass kicked. But it’s cool. I just keep coming back and trying harder. And then I get my ass kicked again.”


William “Whites Only” Sherman IX summed up the aggressive spaces in just one sentence. “It’s a place where assholes can just be assholes without being judged.”

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The Scamp vs. The Tramp #voteearlyvoteoften.jpg