• Sonny Soderberg

Mattress salesman goes berserk after forgetting to play daily Wordle game, snapping streak


Frank DeMarco checks his phone at one minute after midnight and realizes that his 350 day Wordle streak is over
Frank DeMarco checks his phone at one minute after midnight and realizes that his 350 day Wordle streak is over

Boulder, Colorado—A mattress salesman is in hot water after losing his shit over a missed game of Wordle. Frank DeMarco spent all day Saturday working during Sleep Number's Megaton Labor Day Sale-A-Thon. He was so busy that by the time he realized that he hadn't played his favorite game, it was too late.


"I don't understand why the hell people go so crazy for that sale," DeMarco said from his county jail cell. "Don't they realize we jack the prices up 20% and then claim that we're taking 20% off. Fucking idiots. There was never a free moment. All day with the stupid questions. What's a smart bed? Isn't this just an air mattress? Does it work if I don't have WI-FI? Who the fuck doesn't have WI-FI?"


DeMarco said he doesn't remember what happened. He claims he blacked after seeing that he missed the midnight deadline. His coworkers, though, remember everything.


"Frank is a sweet guy, but he's got one hell of a temper," Diane Wilmer said. "I've witnessed him yell obscenities at school crossing guards. Last night was epic, though. He took a knife to a bunch of beds. He broke a bunch of headboards. He even cut up pillow cases. It was like watching Michael Myers go ape shit over inanimate objects."


The manager of the Sleep Number store hopes DeMarco gets help, but he won't be coming back to work at the store. "I'm not sure anyone is coming back. He destroyed everything. It's not like there was much to destroy. The store isn't even one thousand square feet. If it were a Rooms-To-Go we might have something to come back to, but hell, all we have are a few samples of beds here. We don't even have any night stands."


A spokesman for the Boulder County Sheriff's Department says DeMarco is being held without bail due to a prior altercation with a vending machine.