The Scamp vs. The Tramp #voteearlyvoteoften.jpg
  • Sonny Soderberg

Mayor's race heats up. Spott calls on Corkenburger to resign.


Mayoral candidate Gina Spott's stripper pole students rock their moves after class
Mayoral candidate Gina Spott's stripper pole students rock their moves after class

Freedom Bluff mayoral candidate Gina Spott called on Mayor Corkenburger to resign after last night’s city council meeting.


“He needs to leave office now. He shouldn’t put the voters through this,” Spott said. “Corky has done a lot for Freedom Bluff but, my God, the man is ancient and senile. And his farts stink really bad. Seriously. Like, after he farts, you don’t even notice the manure stench dripping out of Councilman Daggerhart’s pores.”


Fact check: TDS gives both of these accusations zero dogs. Mayor Corkenburger is widely known around town for his noxious farts. In addition, Councilman Daggerhart has admitted that he uses a lot of manure at his hemp farm.


City Manager Gladys Corkenburger, Mayor Corkenburger’s wife, responded to Spott by blowing a raspberry on the top of her hand. “That’s what a fart sounds like, okay? Corky didn’t do that. Y’all read the transcript from last night’s meeting. It was all splat, swish, and kapong. It was no big deal. For a former stripper slash coke-whore slash pole dancing teacher to demand that Corky resign months before the voters of this great city decide who their leader will be is blasphemous. Carlyle ‘Corky’ Corkenburger isn’t leaving office until God decides it’s time. Trust me, I’ll figure out how to make sure his vote count is higher than hers. I always do.”


Whoever you're supporting, it looks like we need to vote early and vote often, Freedom Bluff.

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The Scamp vs. The Tramp #voteearlyvoteoften.jpg