PETA files federal lawsuit to halt use of "camel" as a color
Washington D.C.—To further their quest to live in a world ruled by animals, PETA filed a lawsuit in federal court today on behalf of Carmine the cantankerous camel, hoping to stop all English speaking human beings from using the word "camel" as a color.
In their filing, attorneys for PETA claimed, "Using 'camel' to visually describe the color of such things as clothing, furniture, and phone cases is hurtful, divisive, and downright mean. Some say that animals are people too. Plaintiffs disagree. Animals are better than people. Animals would not use the word 'human' as a substitute for words that are already part of their vocabulary. Plaintiffs insist that brown, light-brown, dark-brown, brownish, and somewhat-brown are sufficient. They seek an injunction to stop the use of the word 'camel' in its entirety, except when used to address one of the Earth's most regal and elegant creatures, the camel. Furthermore, Carmine the cantankerous camel contends through professional animal interpreters that he has suffered great emotional distress. He seeks general damages in the amount of $30,000,000,000. He requests these damages be held in a trust and that PETA be named as its executor."
While unconfirmed rumors swirled that 'camel toe' might be added to the lawsuit, representatives from PETA were seen having lunch with a pack of leopards in Somalia.