• Sally Lipshank

Tiny 5'0" Ohio man now identifies as 6'3" gargantuan


Frankie Crombie of Lima, Ohio tells co-worker Vic Thornberg to get off his back for the last time!
Frankie Crombie of Lima, Ohio tells co-worker Vic Thornberg to get off his back for the last time!

Lima, Ohio—Frankie Crombie has had enough and he isn't taking it anymore. The thirty-five-year-old, not much taller than a tee ball stand, announced to his co-workers at an Ohio horse fur farm on Friday that he isn't taking their shit anymore.


"Men can be women. Women can be men. Kids get to smoke cigarettes. Ugly rock stars get hot chicks," Crombie ranted. "There's no fucking reason short guys can't be tall. And that's what I've decided to be. I don't give a shit what the doctor's dumbass tape measure says. I'm six-fucking-foot-three now. Deal with it, bitches."


After Crombie's announcement, his supervisor, Dale Pfennig, sent an email to everyone at the fur farm to show his partial support.


"Staff, we all must show Frankie the same compassion we showed Jenny, who used to be Benny, when he who is now a she wanted to change genders. Even though she still stands to pee, that doesn't make her less of a woman. It just means she has to hike up her dress and hold it out of the way of the stream. Frankie will still need a foot stool to reach for the coffee cups. He'll still need to jump to give Vic a high five. We'll still need him to crawl into tight spaces to plug things in. But that doesn't mean he can't buy clothes that don't fit him. I just hope that we'll all be there to pick him up when he trips on the ends of his really long pants."


Crombie said that he was undecided about undergoing height affirmation surgery or buying a pair of drywall stilts.