• Todd Beacon

Wife switches husband’s antidepressant for Viagra. His depression disappears.


Jim Burgess, the moment he realized all he needed was to get laid regularly
Jim Burgess, the moment he realized all he needed was to get laid regularly

Scranton, Pennsylvania—In May, 2020, Jim Burgess lost his job the same day his dog died. A day later, his 1965 Ford Mustang was stolen. A week after that, his twenty-year-old daughter introduced him to her sixty-three-year-old boyfriend. Any one of those travesties is enough to make a man take a long, hard look at his pathetic life. Put them all together, and it will send that man into a tailspin faster than Gabriel Iglesias can scarf down a donut. Two years later, still jobless after five therapists, two psychiatrists, one life coach, and a weekend yoga retreat, his wife knew she had to do something.


"We were just wasting money we didn't have," Mary Burgess told us. "And the fucking medicine he was given— that buspirone— wasn't doing a damn thing other than make him stink up the bathroom. God, two hours after I cleaned the toilet, it went right back to looking like something you'd find in a truck stop restroom."


The day her vibrator died was the day she took action.


"We were in debt up to our eyeballs. I couldn't afford another one. Jim was spending his life down in the dumps when he was supposed be down on me. I asked my daughter to give me some of her boyfriend's Viagra, then I replaced his buspirone with it. One week is all it took. I was getting laid again, Jim found a new job, we got another dog, and the steering wheel to his Mustang showed up on eBay."


What does her husband think of the switcheroo?


"I just wish she would have done it earlier. I might have found more of my Mustang."